Aging Schoolgirl's Punishment Haircut:

Aging Schoolgirl didn't watch where she was going and her Range Rover hit a tree. She wanders to a rock to think as her broken radiator steams. Blondie Bob comes up behind with punishment in mind. She ties Aging Schoolgirl to a sapling. She whips out her weapon. "For hitting my tree, you will pay, old maid! Let me have that hair!"

Blondie Bob wasn't done after Aging Schoolgirl's hair is shorn. No, there's yet another instrument of destruction, a nail clippers. Aging Schoolgirls long nails are soon to be only a memory.